Sunday sharing

Today was one hell of a day. It all started with church this morning. I've been having some real issues with the church that I attend. I have been disappointed in some of the behaviors I've seen and I've been disappointed profoundly. I guess I thought that I was over that. Last night while out with friends, I heard some news that made my stomach drop about 133 flights. This news ripped open any healing that was covering my old wounds and resentments. I went to bed and dreamed about it and woke up feeling angry, apathetic and generally disinterested in church and everything that goes along with it. I was just acting as if in the service and really was just feeling a whole lot of feelings. My sponsor says that feelings aren't facts but I am such a novice to feeling feelings that in my perception they seem that way.

After church, I had the great opportunity to hang out with an ex of mine. She and I had not seen each other for a good eight years. We just hung out and talked and talked and I think that we were both pleasantly surprised to see that we have both become the type of people that we'd like to be friends with. We are both engaged in activities that bring richness and fullness to our lives. We had a great talk for a few hours and when I dropped her off at the airport I knew that I had made a good connection with an awesome person.

After this I went to an OA meeting and actually shared. I waited until the last minute but I did share and I felt better after the share. I had a good connect with my friends and my sponsor.

It was when I was at Wild Oats that I had an emotional attack and just about shut down. I quickly bought my groceries and when I got into the car I heard the remake of the Pretender's song "I'll stand by you" which just made me feel even worse. I am grateful for my OA community. I am just so glad that in OA I'm not focused on being popular but focused on working the steps.

Thank you OA